Who shows you what you see?

Ok, so I’ve been “accused” many times of being a kirchnerist by my friends. Now, this isn’t by any means a bad word. It just means you are in favor of the current government. Or, at least, it should mean that.
If that was its only definition, then I would probably say, “yes, I kind of am”. But that’s not what my friends mean when they say that to me. I deny it, and I’m going to explain to you just why I do so, and how this came to be.

Another of Clarín's first pages from those times.

“New Government” Referring to the three representatives of the military that took the power after kicking the democratically elected president.

I’ve talked about the media here, haven’t I? The general picture is: the little group of people that have all the money, also control all the mainstream media. I think some of you must be familiar with this concept, right?
Anyways, that’s how it works here, and how it’s been working since… Well, I’d say since the beginning of this country, but honestly, it only got this bad after the last dictatorship.
The Clarín Group, managed by the Noble family (yes, that’s their family name. I find it ironic), took a hold of Papel Prensa, the biggest producer of paper for the press. How? Oh, you know, by torturing its rightful owners into signing the selling papers.
They are currently on trial for this.
Now, for this to happen, they needed the brute force of the army, which was in the power at that moment. They got to their good side by siding up with them.

Clarin's first page right when the coup d'était started.

“The Militay Council is the State’s supreme organ”

By tricking the population into thinking nothing was going on, and that this was only a peaceful and transitory government, and convincing them that they wanted the military on the power because of the “terrorist threat”, they managed to make a lot of people oblivious of what was going on.
Sounds familiar, whatever US citizen reading this? Well, it shouldn’t surprise you. After all, the US military had a lot to do with the military getting a hold of the government, and of their violent methods once there; but I’ll talk about that some other day.

Anyways, by seemingly becoming one of these people’s tools, they were able to use them to their advantage. After all, one of the people in charge of making the paper producer’s owners to sign, was one of the most important functionaries of the military council (who is now in trial, yes).

Not much later…

And yet another of Clarín's front pages.

“Videla (illegitimate president) inaugurated the Papel Prensa plant”. There, you see Videla, with the Noble couple, re-opening the plant after they ‘bought it’.

Wait, I had a point here…
Ah, yes of course!

After buying the plant which produced the paper for each and every one of the newspapers and magazines of the country, they were legally able to set prices at will. So, for their own newspaper, Clarín, its cousin, La Nación, and to every other newspaper or magazine they liked, the prices were minimal.
But, for newspapers which didn’t share their views, the price was… Slightly… Definitely higher. This meant that Clarín was much cheaper, making it more accessible for the common man.
And that, kids, is how Clarín got so popular, and grew SO big in such little time.

They got so good at what they did, and so close to the government, their lies started becoming more and more reckless.
During the Malvinas War, they actually helped convince the general populi that our country was actually winning! Our country. Extremely unprepared for war. Sending teenage boys with no training over there. With lack of food. Against England. It didn’t take a mastermind to figure out that was pretty fucking impossible.

Guess what?

“Imminent recuperation of the Malvina Islands”. No doubt there.

I’m losing my track of thoughts again…
Oh, righ.

Ok, back to present day. Now that you have a general, very subjective, and extremely opinionated idea of where this group comes from, you can slightly understand what they do, why, and how.
(Seriously, guys, I only know this part of the story. I do encourage you to investigate and let me know what comes across your path).

So, yeah, as you can imagine, they’ve been manipulating the population the same way ever since. They helped to economically overthrow the first democratic government after the process; pushed candidates like Menem into the government; pushed Ministers of Economy like Cavallo into the Ministry (ask Ecuador how much good HE did over there); they were the ideological responsible for the neo-liberal policies applied in my country, and for the epic economical crash of 2001. You might have heard about it.

The minute they saw what ideologies Nestor Kirchner, who assumed as president right after that, held high in sight, they understood he meant trouble for their wallet, and empire.
I don’t think there has been a single day passing without the Clarín newspaper, or any of its branches, badmouthing, criticizing, and aggravating him and his wife, our current president. Sometimes the critics were spot-on. And sometimes it was just someone throwing shit at them for no good reason, other than the rage they felt.
And, being this the most popular newspaper, news channels, and celebrities magazines in the country, their ideas spread fast.

“Is she under psychiatric treatment?”. Noticias magazine, under the Clarín Group’s management, accusing Cristina Kirchner, then first lady, of having a bipolar disorder, without proofs, without consulting any of her doctors, without her consent, without anything. Obviously, it was a lie. But the idea was installed in society ever since. This is the power and impunity of the media.

Now, let me make this very very clear. There is nothing I find better than someone making a thoughtful critic about a certain government, policy or ideal, and discussing it with other people. But, and I’m not just talking, this is serious, most people who right-out HATE the Kirchner couple, have memorized this speech, repeated it all over the place, and to themselves, until they believed it, and couldn’t think in any other way. Sometimes this is applied literally. I am not joking.
Most people don’t even realize how deep in their brains some concepts have been carved.

Repetition, impunity, power. These are the elements they have to make people think what they want them to think. They give new concepts to every word they use, and make it so that it’s actually used in a daily basis.

They’ve made words like ‘officialism’, ‘kirchnerist’, and ‘officialist’ into insults. And what I mean by that is that people have actually tried to insult me by calling me all that in debates and forums.
They have divided this country into “K” and “Anti-K”, and then accused the actual government of being responsible for this bipolarity (though they haven’t done much to fight that, really).

By calling yourself a ‘kirchnerist’, some people around you automatically think you are a poor brainwashed person who blindly follows the current government. By calling yourself an ‘oppositor’, some people around you think you are a hateful human being who blindly follows the commands of the Clarín Group.

But, of course, the world isn’t black and white; it’s full of greys, and, quite frankly, that’s probably the only thing that makes it bearable.

I like greys. I enjoy watching them, and I enjoy belonging to them. My thoughts belong to the grey zone. My ideologies aren’t just that or what, they are a combination of ideas, concepts, and knowledge. My way of thinking is unique, and so is everyone else’s.
What bothers me the most about these people, is not only that they claim to be the voice of the whole population, nor really their bloody past, though these things do bug me. What bothers me the most is the fact that they imply you can either be on one side or the other. They deny the greys. And that is not healthy for society, not in the least.

And not only is it unhealthy, it’s proven to be fatal. This is not the first time people like this have tried to divide the society of my country. They have tried, and succeeded before. And every time they did, guess what happened in the end? War. And, in the worst cases, civil war.
Realists vs Autonomists, Federalist vs Unitarians, Conservatives vs Radicals, Peronists vs Gorillas, K vs Anti-K. Our history is marked by the rivalry between two completely opposite groups. And, most of the times, things heated up enough to escalate to wars.
Divide and conquer, you know. As we are too distracted fighting between each other for no real reason, the people who orchestrated all that, swim in their impunity. And money.

By labeling themselves, they usually give up to the possibility of looking at the good attributes of the other side, and actually constructing. Together. Like people who live in the same country. Together.

Taking on definitions like those means not wanting to accept the rest.

Labeling is… Well, I’m short for words. Labeling is stupid. Specially when it refers to political ideologies. It blinds us from our real problems, and from the people we should be looking at with special care.

And that’s why I don’t do that. There.

Well, thanks for putting up with my ranting again.
Take care of yourselves, and remember to pay attention to what you read, what you think, who you side up with, and who you’re really against. What are you not seeing from the general picture? And, who is blocking your sight?

-Mila.

You did it again! Good job, Mila -sigh-

I would excuse myself if I could be excused in any possible way. But I can’t. I really just abandoned this place without a second thought, and haven’t even had the decency to check in once in a while for several months.

That’s so me… -facepalm-.

I don’t even know how active I’ll really be from now on, to be honest. I better not make promises, cause I won’t keep them. I just know I’m depressed; like, REALLY depressed. And writing can work as a nice therapeutic exercise for me (specially when talking about stuff I’m passionate about).

Well, let’s take this struck of inspiration and fill you (whoever is still reading this) in on the recent events that have taken place in my life.

Well, I finished high school. Yay. Now my life can commence, or can it? I don’t know. I don’t know what I want to do, I’m not even sure I even want to do anything. I want to draw all day, but I’m not even drawing as much lately. I want to think, but I don’t have the will to just grab a book and start analyzing it. I just want to lay motionless on my bed as time passes by, and I’m pretty sure that’s not a good sign.I’ve been keeping myself busy with roleplays and games. Only recently have I started watching anime and reading manga again, which is something I used to do at all times some months ago.

But, the fact that I don’t know what to do doesn’t mean anyone around me has any idea of what they want for my life. My parents, for example, are pestering me to get up and study. Yeah right. I can’t even think straight lately, and you want me to prepare for trigonometry exams? Keep dreaming.

Apart from that, I spent a few months in some part-time jobs. You know, to spend time, and earn some money.
No, wait. That’s a lie. I started working because I NEED the money. Why, you ask? We’ll get to that in a second.
But yeah, I worked at a restaurant and at an English Institute as a secretary. Had some fun. At least I walked out of my house once a day.

I still spend most of my time in my computer, though. The only thing that interests me and makes me passionate is there, after all.That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! The only thing is a guy!

Oh, of course, god forbid I ever actually like a guy who makes a move on me over here. That could make me happy, and the Universe doesn’t want that, no. The first time I fall in love with someone, he just HAS to be several thousand miles away from me. Because it makes it more fucking interesting.
Before anyone asks, he’s from New Jersey, and, when talking to him, or even thinking about him, I’m the happiest human on Earth. But when he’s away, or I remember how far away he is, my chest feels empty, like a void of darkness sucking up every inch of joy from my mind.
jksdghdjkjkl.

Yes, that’s what the money was for. I’m saving up to go see him, which is the only actual thing I really really want to do. But, of course, plane tickets are EXPENSIVE (US$600~800), and the dollar itself is expensive here (ARG$6 equals US$1). And not only are dollar bills expensive, they’re difficult to obtain because of the many restrictions the government puts on those transactions (measures I’m ironically in favor of). Hey, maybe I could make a post explaining why that is later, who knows.

So yeah, getting there by the end of this year, as we had planned, seems to be impossible now. And please don’t ask “then why doesn’t he go over to where you are, huh??”. He has his own personal problems.

But I think today I crashed against the bottom of my depressive hole.
Talking about the future and such, Seraph (the guy) mentioned that the most viable option is for him to join the army if he doesn’t find some way to earn money by the end of this year.

I don’t want that.

I don’t want that at all.

But I’m not one to impose myself on other peoples’ choices, even if it’s the guy I love and who loves me back. If he wants to join, then he will. But… I’m so scared. I’m so unbelievably scared. The mere thought of the possibility of something happening to him immediately paralyzes me.

So, today, I decided I need to pull my shit together once and for all. The conclusion my naive brain got to is: if I study a lot and find a good job, then he’ll have more time to find something else, and maybe won’t feel forced to join the army.
Yes, I know this is just wishful thinking. Shut up.

So, sulking over the fact that I feel useless, the thought of this place came back to my mind.

Well, I feel a little better now. I really do… I also hadn’t done this in a while. It feels nice.

Anyways, sorry about the personal rant. I just need to clear my head and start moving, and I know that. This helps.

I hope you’re ok and don’t have to worry about money or whatever else, and are in love with someone you can touch, and can have fun while walking down the street surrounded by loving couples, and don’t feel like assaulting an ice-cream shop.

Gosh I need ice-cream.

-Mila.